Mutual Love Leads To Extreme Hospitality by Rob Haynes

Have you ever felt completely out of place? Have you ever been in a situation where you were in a room full of people, didn’t know how to act, and weren’t sure how to meet anyone to help you feel more at home?

Some years ago, a pastor friend of mine got married. I had met his fiancée, now wife, a few times through our work together. They had a family service in a location out of state, then a large reception at a place back home. I went to give them my congratulations. For some reason—probably related to the fact that our kids were young then—my wife couldn’t go. So, I went alone. I did so with the expectation that I would find other colleagues at the party. If so, it would not be so awkward.

When I arrived, the party, the music, and the laughter was in full swing. The venue was beautifully decorated. Many people had turned up to express their love and congratulations.  However, none of my other colleagues showed up. I only knew 2 people in the room: the Bride and the Groom.

The groom was off talking to some folks with his back to me. However, the bride caught my eye from across the crowded room. I smiled and waved and mouthed “congratulations” to her. She scanned the room and realized: I didn’t know anyone else there. Rather than ignore me and go back to her party, she made her way across the room to me and took me by the hand. She thanked me for coming. She thanked me for the card I brought. Then she took me around the room and introduced me to people. Because she knew I would be lost without her hospitality. She was sacrificing her time – on her day. The day when she had the right, and expectation, to be the center of attention. She did so just to make sure I was welcome and that I was comfortable. That’s not just hospitality. That’s extreme hospitality.

When I think about this years later, I am still struck that the bride sacrificed for me, an outsider—though one who was invited to her celebration. It also strikes me that Jesus calls his followers, the Church, His Bride. We are also commanded to show this same sort of gracious and generous hospitality.

The thirteenth chapter of the book of Hebrews begins with, “Let mutual love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.” The writer ties the Christian trait of Love directly with showing hospitality to others. The reference to entertaining angels brings up the images of Abraham and Sarah entertaining the three strangers in Genesis 18. These acts of generous and gracious hospitality were certainly an amazing display of welcome to these messengers from the Lord. Even though they weren’t aware of who they were at the time, Abraham and Sarah showed them a lavish welcome.

Even though our culture is certainly very different from the times of the writing of Genesis and of Hebrews, the need for the same sort of hospitality remains. Though digital communication, distance work and school, and social media continue to permeate many parts of our daily lives there remains a deep need for human connection. The boomerang effect is happening as many people, corporations, and schools are prioritizing in-person interactions again. People still long for real community.

At the same time, and perhaps coincidentally, there has been a decline in church involvement in many parts of the world where such real community has been neglected. However, research and practical experience tell us that people who are connected to church are still interested in spiritual matters. They will want to know how to answer the big questions of life, how to find their purpose, how to serve their families, and many others. We know those questions are tugging at them because God is calling them unto Himself through his prevenient grace. The question is, who will help them find those answers?

The practice of extreme hospitality is one important part of evangelism. Who are the people near you that need to know that they are welcome? That may feel like an outsider in your church, even though they were invited. Like the bride in the opening story, are you willing to help them feel comfortable even at your own personal expense? To let them know they are a vital part of the big party? My friend saw my value, my discomfort, and that there was no way I was going to make it without her. There are many people out there in the same situation spiritually. Our job is to help them feel at home, where they belong. She did so even though it would cause her some discomfort. She deserved to be the focus of attention. Instead, she made me feel like the most important person in the room. How can you, your family, and your church help others feel this same sort of welcome?