Foundations of Disciple-Making: Experience by Paulo Lopes

In order to create more clarity around disciple-making, it benefits us to spend more time coming to agreements about what we mean when we say certain words. This matters because we often agree on which words are important. We just do not mean the same things when we say them. For instance, my shortest possible definition for disciple-making is this: “disciple-making is relationship.” However, this is an unhelpful definition until I expand what I mean by relationship in the context of disciple-making.

In the first part of this series, we explored the foundational nature of relationships when it comes to disciple-making. Now we’ll spend time exploring four other foundational elements of disciple-making, which are simply the building blocks of what relationships mean in this context.

A Relational Moment in the Gospel of John

I’d like to start by taking us to a somewhat obscure passage in the third chapter of the gospel of John. In verse 22 we read “After this, Jesus and his disciples went out into the Judean countryside, where he spent some time with them, and baptized” (NIV). Eugene Peterson says Jesus “relaxed with them there,” and that “He was also baptizing.” This scene strikes me as one of the most “laid-back” moments in the gospels. They set out to the countryside. They hang out… Oh, and they also baptize! It is one of my favorite relational images between Jesus and his disciples. For now, just keep that image in the back of your mind as we move along.

Vivência vs. Convivência: Lived vs. Shared Experience

As a Brazilian, I love how translating words often gives me new insights into the concepts I’m exploring. While reflecting on the foundational elements of disciple-making, I encountered two similar words in Portuguese: Vivência and Convivência. Both share the root vive, from the verb viver (to live). Vivência translates best as “lived experience.” It refers to the ways we encounter God throughout our lives or in private moments through our stories, past, testimony, and personal time with God. Conversely, Convivência translates best as “shared experience.” It is how we experience God in community with others on the discipling journey, whether in living rooms, around tables, at campsites, walking, or working out together.

Both Vivência and Convivência add depth to the idea that experience is foundational to disciple-making. You see, when it comes to the relationships that lead us toward becoming more like Jesus, our shared experience is just as important as our personal, lived experience. 

Disciple-making relationships involve both the transfer of lived experience, AND shared experience. I don’t mean this in a once-a-week bible-study kind of way, but rather in convivência. If I’m helping a friend out who is struggling in his marriage, giving advice (transfer of lived experience) is good, but incomplete without inviting him (and even his spouse) into the messiness of my marriage (shared experience) where we can find hope and mutual encouragement. I don’t mean to sound cliche, but it’s true that becoming more like Jesus is better caught than taught. Inviting those on a discipling journey with us into our everyday lives is more effective, and keeps us more honest, than simply going through curriculum together and asking what everyone around the circle thinks about what they just learned. 

Shifting from Formal Mentoring to Life-Sharing

Over the past five or six years I have had the privilege of being asked to mentor other leaders. I love every opportunity to do so. Initially, I would schedule to meet one-on-one in a coffee shop, where we would spend a couple of hours discussing all that is going on in their lives. It was OK, but it felt incomplete. So I decided to make a shift and invite them into different parts of my day-to-day life. I’ve had them over in my backyard office (“the shedquarters”) and made them coffee. I’ve invited them over for lunch with me and my wife. We have worked out together. Consequently, our conversations have become much richer! We talk about the small things, our personal quirks, stories, dreams and concerns, all in the context of everyday activities. Additionally, they get an unabridged version of who I am, the good and the bad, and vice-versa. Over time, these shared experiences begin to shape our common understanding of our faith and our walk with Jesus, our challenges and shortcomings, and our vision for life. The bottom line is that disciple-making relationships necessarily involve unofficial moments of friendship and sharing life experiences together.

The Role of Mission in Shared Experience

There is yet another dimension to the idea of shared experience. It’s the “and baptized” portion of the text we started with in John 3. Jesus formed his disciples by transferring lived experience and by sharing experiences with the disciples. But, those shared experiences weren’t limited to mundane everyday things they did together (though these were also very much part of the process). Their shared experiences involved being on-mission wherever they were, whenever opportunities presented themselves. They were hanging out AND they were baptizing. They were on their way somewhere AND Jesus was healing. You get the pattern. 

Unfortunately, we have created a tendency in many of our churches to compartmentalize the different aspects of disciple-making that were meant to happen organically and all at once. We have interest-based small groups for hanging out and making friends, bible (or book) studies that focus on different aspects of the Christian life, and service opportunities where we can do good in the community, or as my American friends would say, “give back.” And, none of these activities are bad. They’re just not meant to be compartmentalized in the context of disciple-making. We need to become life-sharing (vivência AND convivência) friends with those who are helping guide us (and who we are helping guide) towards Jesus, getting to know them for who they really are, learning to follow and to serve Jesus alongside them, imperfect people moving on together to perfection.

This is part two in a five-part series dedicated to exploring what I have come to understand as the five foundations of disciple-making. I hope this is helpful to all of those who, like me, are laboring to help the Church become better at participating in the Great Commission. Join us in this conversation by downloading WME’s WE419 app, where you can engage with resources, post your thoughts, etc.