Foundations of Disciple-Making: Access by Paulo Lopes

This is part three in a five-part series dedicated to exploring what I have come to understand as the five foundations of disciple-making. I hope this is helpful to all of those who, like me, are laboring to help the Church become better at participating in the Great Commission. Here are the first and second parts.

About a year and a half ago I decided I wasn’t happy with who I had become physically. I wanted to do something about it, and I was ready to invest time, money, and effort into it. So, I joined a group of friends working out with a trainer a couple of times a week, became a member at a local gym, began to study a bit about what works for men over 40 (can anyone testify?!), and started tracking my meals and activity. 

A year later, I felt stronger, more aware of my diet, and I had lost some weight. However, I felt stuck (I’m still working on it). I was tracking my food, I thought I was doing a good job with my “macros,” and continued to be consistent at the gym, but I wasn’t making progress. Then I found myself on a trip, sitting at a restaurant table next to a former male fitness model who now runs a very successful personal training business. Naturally, I began, well… whining about my situation (in hindsight it was pretty pitiful). I told him about how great I was doing with my workouts, my diet, how I was tracking everything and that, in short, life just wasn’t fair (it’s ridiculous. I know)! Then he said “tracking? Did you say you have been tracking your diet?” to which I answered “yes! I have it all on my phone!” As the words came out of my mouth I knew right then and there that he had me! “Let me see it,” he said, to my despair. There was no way out. I was about to give him real access to the record of what I had been eating. 

I could keep going with the story. It started a bit tragic, then it became entertaining. Ultimately though, it gave me hope. That’s because while I had made positive changes on my own, and had given permission to my trainer and to some friends to give me feedback on my journey, it was the first time I had given someone access to a true record of my actions and choices. It wasn’t pretty. But it was what I needed.

Moving Beyond “Accountability”

Notice that I chose not to use the word accountability. This is a conscious choice. Accountability strikes me as a bit legalistic. It’s an overused term, and it is applied to too many contexts. When someone is made to pay for their mistakes, we might call that accountability. When Institutions create success metrics that must be reported, we call that accountability. We even try to soften the term a bit by adding modifiers such as “relational accountability” or “spiritual accountability.” We do this because we realize that, on its own, accountability is simply a “wonky,” misunderstood term. 

Now, it is true Scripture warns us that we will one day give an account of our lives to God. However, notice how the Greek word in almost all texts translated as “account” is logos (see Rom 14:12; Matt 12:37), which many know is most commonly translated as “word” or “the word.” This makes sense because it gives undertones of confession, which is of course done with words. Interestingly, in another passage with a similar warning, 2 Corinthians 5:10, when Paul says “for we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ” (NIV), the greek word for appear is phaneroó, which could also be translated as “to reveal,” “to make known,” or even “to show openly.” The reality is that one day we will indeed give an account to God. All of us. And, we will be giving an account to an all-knowing God. There is nothing under the sun that can be hidden from almighty God, even if we often act like it isn’t the case. In other words, God, by virtue of his nature, has complete access to our most hidden realities. Everything about us is laid open before the throne of God. 

Access in Disciple-Making Relationships

Here’s the catch, what is true about the all-knowing nature of God, is not true about us in our disciple-making relationships. When it comes to these life-giving relationships, access is not assumed, it is given. Therefore, we are only able to mature in our discipleship to the extent that we are willing to give access to others to things about us that are otherwise hidden. If I am convinced, for instance, that my handling of finances should better reflect my faith, asking someone to help me in that area will only be effective if I also give them access to a true record of my finances. Otherwise it’s simply too easy to fall into self-deception, or even just outright deception in order to project a fake reality… sort of like my whining about being stuck in my health journey, hoping for affirmation instead of confronting reality!

Biblical Foundations for Giving Access

I like how the author of Hebrews puts it in chapter 10. After quoting Jeremiah 31:33-34, he calls believers to perseverance in verses 19-23. Then he says in verse 24 “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (NIV). Different versions use different words in place of “spur on,” but I think in this case the harsher the expression, the more faithful to the author’s intent. The greek word in that text is paroxusmos, which only shows up one other time in the New Testament, in Acts 15:39, to describe the “sharp disagreement” between Paul and Barnabas, causing them to part ways. Paroxusmos refers to a provocation, an angry dispute, or sharp contention. It was used in the Greco-Roman world in the context of debate, and in the medical field to describe a sudden attack or convulsion. 

This is the intensity the Hebrews author is trying to convey as necessary in discipling relationships as persons challenge each other, with grace, toward love and good deeds, or as John Wesley would put it, personal and social holiness. Speaking of John Wesley, note that while being part of a Class Meeting was a prerequisite for just about anything else in the early Methodist movement, Bands were an optional, more challenging commitment. In Bands, members were expected to give one another, you guessed it, access to a much higher degree. 

Privacy and Modern Challenges

Finally, we can agree that the idea of access feels perhaps a bit uncomfortable, even invasive. I believe this is because privacy, at least in the ways we understand it today, is not a very old concept. Much of the access needed for “spurring each other on” was assumed in the context of tight-knit communities, an analog/hard copy world, and mostly in-person interactions. In times past, “personal space” and privacy were less common, reserved generally to those in the wealthier portions of society. In short, there was typically not much one could hide from others for long. This is simply not the case with the growth of the idea of “personal lives,” and the development of technology to facilitate privacy. Today, we are able to live multiple, almost entirely separate lives. We have our personal life, our church lives, our online interactions, and so on. The bottom line is that in order to be in authentic disciple-making relationships, we must intentionally give and be given access to others with permission to speak into our lives, spurring us on toward holiness. What might feel awkward or invasive at first, turns out to be freedom, as that which was once in darkness now comes to light.

Who are the people who have access to otherwise private, hidden parts of your life? And are others giving you access in a way that allows you to speak into their lives? Could this be the missing key to move you and those around you to the next level?